I think interpersonal conflicts between people are unavoidable, because we have to interact with people all the time, and sometimes there will be miscommunication. What I’m going to share is something more of a total communication breakdown.
This happens last year during chemistry laboratory session. The experiments are done in pair work and I happened to have a peculiar lab partner, let’s call him Q. At first I thought that he is like any other people, but as I worked with him, I find that he was awfully quiet. I tried to talk to him, but it is like an answer and question session, where I asked the question, he answered. It was a weird and awkward situation.
About half way through the experiment, where we just have to wait for the reaction in the mixture to complete, we can start washing up some apparatus that we do not have to use. Q picked up a conical flask with solution in it and was going to empty the flask and washed it, I quickly spotted that the solution was going to be used later, and I told him, “hey, don’t throw that away, we’re going to use that later!” He nodded. I turned around to take some stuff and when I turned back, the emptied the whole solution in the sink!! I was screaming like “what are you doing! I thought I just told you we’re going to use that later!!” He just looked at me and smile, and he looks like he doesn’t understand a word I’m saying and continue washing the conical flask. I was very angry, I asked him again why he did that, he just looked at me with an innocent face like nothing had happened. That’s where I find him a little bit weird.
Since the solution was down the drain, we have to make new ones. The teaching assistant was very kind and she helped us by telling us short cut method to get the solution we want. While doing that, a lab technician came by and asked us what are we doing, why are we doing this? Q tries to explain but can’t, and when the lab technician asked again, Q gave a super black face and looks like he was going to punch her. I quickly came up and explained to the lab technician, and then everything was ok.
There was a total communication break down between me and Q. When I say something to him, it seems like he understand but he doesn’t. I also find it hard to understand what he’s trying to say too. After that I try finishing the experiment myself, ignoring him to prevent more miscommunication. In addition, found out from my friend during the previous experiment, Q partnered with another guy, and they redo the experiment twice! The guy complained and wanted a new lab partner, apparently, they have the same problem.
It seems that Q has trouble communicating with people around him and not just me. It was very tough working with him, it was the 1st time I met with such situation, and I totally don’t know what to do, I just do everything myself.
Well, what would you have done if you were to work with some person where you totally cannot communicate with?
Hi Guo Ren,
ReplyDeleteWow, this is indeed a very interesting experience!!! Nope, I've never encountered such a situation before! This person that you have just described appears to be foreigner, is he? Perhaps he finds it really difficult to communicate in English. He appears to be a rather shy person too, which could explain his awkward actions.
But then again, he could have attempted to clarify if he really did not understand what you were saying in the first place, which could have avoided the problem.
I really am clueless as to how to solve this problem that you have brought up. Perhaps he just has a genuine difficulty in relating to others. Maybe what you could have done was to try to explain and reason things out with him instead of just going ahead with the experiment on your own. (I guess you were probably rushed for time then so it'll have been difficult on your part to do that)If he still refuses to communicate at all, then at least you can tell yourself that you have tried. =)
This is indeed a strange encounter, but thanks for sharing nonetheless!
Bryan
Hi Guoren,
ReplyDeleteWow strange encounter indeed! I'm also guessing this is a foreigner? I had an experience of a Vietnamese friend in a project group where everytime we did anything, we had to explain it at least 3 times for him to understand. My group members were getting very frustrated so what we did instead was, I would sit him to one side and explain until he got it, while the rest of my group continued the meeting. When it came to distributing task work, we also gave him a task which was as straightforward as we could find so he would not be confused.
Haha if I were placed in your shoes, I guess I would just smile at the dumb luck of the day. Then perhaps if the TA were helpful, I would let him/her know so that he can take special care and watch out for this student in future? Yups, no easy solution to this problem I'm sure.
Cheers
Ben
Hey Guo Ren,
ReplyDeleteWhen I was reading your post, it reminded me of an experience I had with such a person at a practical class of mine. My lab partner too was very unresponsive and I found working with her to be very vexing. Of course she wasn't as bad as your partner since she at least seemed to understand me, but when we had to discuss about the experiment, I had to do all the talking, and I myself am not someone who speaks a lot!
In my case, I learnt that the best way to deal with her was not to expect much from her. Rather I assigned some work to her and I did my own work and we somehow managed to do the experiments in peace.
In your situation though, I know how hectic the Chemistry labs are so I guess you would have found it way more harder when you didn't have the cooperation of your partner. But as the others also have mentioned, the only solution I can think of is that you could have explained the situation to your TA. Maybe you could have also used up a some time at the beginning of each experiment to try and explain to your partner carefully what he needed to do.
However I doubt if there could have anything effective you could have done to reverse the situation. I guess all you can do is to hope that you never get to work with a lab partner like that again ;)
Cheers..
Madhu
Guoren, thanks for sharing this detailed scenario between you and a lab partner.
ReplyDeleteWhile I am given a pretty good idea of the whole scenario, there are some areas where I don't understand:
1. You mentioned having a "have a peculiar lab partner, Q", and shared that "he was awfully quiet" - what was it about him that made him 'peculiar'? I'm pretty sure you wouldn't consider a quiet person a 'peculiar' person so a more detailed portrayal of Q would have given your classmates more info to comment on.
2. You also mentioned twice that Q "looks like he doesn't understand a word (you're) saying", and that you also "find it hard to understand what he is trying to say too" - do you mean to say that he was incoherent with what he said, or that he did not have a good command of the English language thus causing the 'breakdown' in communication, or perhaps even something else?
If it was a language problem, i.e. language barrier, as some of your classmates have suggested, than I probably wouldn't consider this an interpersonal conflict.
Nevertheless, you received good feedback from your classmates, and I appreciate your effort in sharing this scenario with us!